somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
