I can text with my tongue
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
