omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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