1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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