did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
