is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
