I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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