How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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