she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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