my vag is so smooth its legendary
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
