Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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