Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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