If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
