Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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