He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
