She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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