I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
That accounts for only three of the penises
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
