I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize