Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
