she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
