Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
