I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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