I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize