I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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