no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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