oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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