It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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