Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
