I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
