and you said cock pushups were impossible
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
