Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize