I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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