And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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