I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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