In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
