She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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