you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
