While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
