we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
