Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
