so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
