singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
