i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Randomize
