you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
