Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize