Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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