I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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