Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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