yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We need to get me chipped asap
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
