the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
