yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
