my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
