Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Randomize
