OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
