Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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