this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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