let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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