he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
