ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
