I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
