Yo dont text me then not text me
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
