Rock
Scissors
Fuck
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
