these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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