I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize