Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
